Become a Member
Proudly Sponsored By
ask jancy / if you have a question, Jancy has an answer
IHAVEANIDEA.ORG > ask jancy >  To avoid being a bully I’ve become a wimp. HELP!

To avoid being a bully I’ve become a wimp. HELP!

I’m new in a job. I know I’m creative. But, I’m struggling with having an “advertising spine”. Understandably, this business (or any other for that matter) will require you to have a backbone. This said, I feel like I can’t openly tell people my views, because I know my nature is a little aggresive.
I feel like I’m killing people with kindness, and, it’s not productive at all. I’m not getting close to people. It’s affecting my work, and I feel I can’t get comfy.
In trying to find solutions, I like to get active, fiercly debate, and fight with my words. Not to the detriment of others, but, rough by any standards. Anything less would feel sub-standard. If I’m not in a slight state of rage or rebelliousness towards something, it’s usually pretty lame.
A barometer of my ability to tell people anything, will dictate my ability to be productive.
The understanding that I need to be able to tell people to fuck off, but also, have them be able to say it to me with out any concern. And know that no feelings are TRUELY hurt. Cause, mine, surely aren’t. I’m afraid to hurt others feelings, or worse, loose my job because of my “unprofessionalism”.
I don’t particularly like the idea of getting squeezed out of my job either, due to my lack of input. I guess I have a problem with getting comfortable with new people.
Unfortunately, that sucks. Any ideas?

intro To avoid being a bully Ive become a wimp. HELP!Ok, we have to admit, we’re thinking “head case” as we read your letter. But we show our own lack of, uh, professionalism by name- calling our own Jancy readers. So forget we said that.

A shot at what you’re trying to say: you’re struggling with your natural inclination to lash out in a rage at those you disagree with. In overcompensating, you’re playing the role of a wimp with no point of view. Hope we got that right.

Ours is the business of communicating, and if you can’t learn to communicate effectively with your co-workers and clients, it’s probably quite a struggle for you to try to create work that communicates well with the target. Or if you are coming up with those home-run ideas, you’re probably pretty poor at selling them, either to your CD or your clients.

There are a lot of shades of gray between “fuck-off” and “I agree with everything you say.” Your true desire to bitch people out isn’t particularly unusual, but to act it out is a sign of immaturity and a lack of ability to formulate a compelling arguement for your point of view. So zero points for any notion that the preferred way to solve problems is by ‘fighting with [your] words…in a slight state of rage that’s rough by any standard’. (And anyway, you have to get to be the creative director to get away with being that naughty…)

You sound very junior, so we’ll cut you some slack. It takes a lot of time for most people to learn the art of debate and presentation skills that persuade. Hopefully you work at a place where you can learn from those senior to you. Ask if you can get presentation skills training. In the mean time, do show you have a backbone; a point of view. Being mute is to put yourself at risk. If you truly find you only have two modes, spineless or Incredible Hulk, maybe you should check out an anger management course. Like, seriously.

Share/Bookmark this!


About Jancy

'Jancy' is Janet Kestin and Nancy Vonk, Co-Founders of Swim, a unique “creative leadership training lab for advertising creatives and marketers.” Prior to Swim, Jancy was globally renowned as the Co-Chief Creative Officers of Ogilvy & Mather Toronto, a position they held for thirteen of the twenty years they were a creative duo at the agency. Over the years they've racked up Cannes Lions, Clios, One Show pencils and CA credits, and have lead their shop to two Cannes Lions Grand Prix and a Grand Clio. They've judged CA, Cannes, D&AD, the One Show, the Clios and other prestigious award shows. Creativity named them two of the top 50 creative people of 2008. Known for their outspoken, no-bullshit style and a passion for mentoring juniors, they're ready to give you advice if you're ready to take it.

Copyright © 2001-2017 IHAVEANIDEA inc. All rights reserved. No material contained in this site may be republished or reposted.
IHAVEANIDEA™ is a trademark of IHAVEANIDEA inc. Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2009 ihaveanidea inc. All rights reserved.

No material contained in this site may be republished or reposted. Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy